I’m officially at a halfway point.
Somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks, according to all the pregnancy information available to me, I should be able to feel the baby move.
Now, according to that same information, those movements, to me, might be hard to discern as baby movements. They’ve been described as feeling like a butterfly fluttering, gas bubbles, popcorn popping, and a fly landing. So who knows what I’m actually supposed to expect?
What I do know is that I’m now at 18 weeks and I haven’t felt anything. Or, I haven’t known that I’ve felt anything.
I don’t like this – not one bit. I’m not worried about the baby’s well-being – in fact, I’ve been fortunate to not really have any anxieties in that department. I just don’t like the feeling of being in the bottom half of the class, so to speak. I’m on the second string of the sports team. The best I can do is a C grade. My baby quotient is now below 100.
I really, really like doing well – even better if I can be the best. So this non-punch to the uterus is really a punch to the ego.
But maybe this isn’t about me and my abilities. Maybe this is a lesson in motherhood. Maybe I need to let LP (Little Parasite) do things its way on its own timeline and love it no matter what. Maybe.
Or maybe I need to get working on my stern voice: “You start kicking your mother or else!”