Up until this point, I think most of my planning has been about the long-range goal. Sure, there have been short-term goals, too – things like ‘complete Lego Batman to 100 per cent’ and ‘make sure I cut my toe nails’ have their place on any reasonable to-do list.
But at most points in my life, there has been some overarching goal. Get good grades so I can go to university. Go to university so I can learn a lot and become a productive member of society. Get a career and rise the ranks. You know, normal stuff. And for each of those goals, there has been some translation to my day-to-day activities, like ‘study for that test’ or ‘show your face in the office.’
Now, with work done, the house essentially set up, my husband comfortably settled into his new job, and days (or, shudder, weeks) away from baby arriving, I’m in a weird, short-term limbo.
I’m a goal-oriented person. I like to have tasks. I like to feel useful. Sometimes, I even like being useful. So I don’t just want to sit around and do nothing, as the books and websites suggest I do.
“Take this time to relax – you won’t get the chance after baby comes!”
True, but I also won’t get the chance to organize that closet or touch-up the paint around that window. Wouldn’t it be better to do those things?
The result is that I’m sure people who work in the stores around town are sick of seeing me. Every day, I cook or prep one more batch of food to go in the freezer to thaw and eat after baby gets here. Sure, I could go in today and buy all the ingredients to do a meal a day for seven days, but what happens to that food if I go into labour today? That would be a waste. And sure, I could go to the hardware store and buy the tools I need to hang that mirror and install that shelving unit and organize that closet, but if I have those things laying around and they don’t get done (because baby shows up), I’m going to feel super guilty. If, on the other hand, there is not a readily available solution, it’s probably fine the way it is for the next few months.
That’s how I’ve planned my life. Right now, each day, I have one food goal, one organizational or decorating goal, and one room-cleaning goal, none of which are really tied to anything bigger.
And that makes me uneasy.
So I’ve added an overarching goal, too: make sure the couch is broken in with frequent naps. That, I’m sure, will serve us well in the long run.