For fruit’s sake!

Every week when I was pregnant, I looked forward to reading about the little person growing inside me and what type of produce he or she was the same size as.

Some websites were a little more accurate, giving precise measurements, like 13.5 cm. But I am not a wizard. I cannot imagine how big that is without a ruler in front of me.

So, sure, oranges vary greatly in size, and saying that my baby is equivalent to an orange was probably not particularly accurate, but it was very easy to relate to.

Plus, it made trips to the grocery store way more fun; “Look honey,” I could say as I was holding up a watermelon next to my belly, “our baby has a twin!” Classic.

As a woman, comparing body size to that of fruits and vegetables was nothing new to me. Although we ladies all want to be that hourglass shape (right?), most of us fit into one of the other three (tastier) categories: apple, pear, or banana.

I spent a great deal of my life as an apple – a short squat apple like a Macintosh, not even a tall dignified apple, like a Red Delicious. For a while there after I lost some weight, I was rocking it as a pear – small on top, but plump on bottom.

But now that I’ve given birth, my body has changed again. My top half has mostly recovered – it’s back to being small, just a little, erm, fuller. My bottom half, on the other hand, has grown wide enough to host an entire family’s worth of Christmas presents underneath it. I have tried on some of my pre-pregnancy pants, and while they fit just fine in the legs, the gap around the button where there should be overlap is about 13.5 cm wide.

What I’m telling you, Reader, is that I have discovered a whole new category of produce: the butternut squash.

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